Please refer to previous article in series to get the context
Flashbacks of painful surgeries & even more painful physiotherapy from childhood were not happy memories, but they do induce a feeling of strength akin to "I came out of that with flying colours, I can definitely survive this". So while I lay binge watching "Brain games" post knee wiring op, because pain would not let me sleep. There was a weird feeling of being ignored, one that I had compartmentalized as "not being taken seriously as a child". Flashbacks of feeling ignored kept coming back with hospitalization memories, I could not quite figure out why though.
During the night round of doctors, one resident (read Doctor still learning) came & asked where my close relative in attending was. I informed my bro has down downstairs for dinner. I tried striking a conversation trying to figure out what was being prescribed & why. Casually boasting how I have insane amount of pain tolerance which is why I would prefer no painkillers, but I could not shrug off the feeling of being ignored. She ( unfortunately ) interrupted me looking up from sheet she was scribbling on & demanded I ask my brother to sign the sheet once he is back. Once again I tried explaining that he is my kid brother & I can sign the treatment sheet myself since I am not being treated for insanity, which, resulted in her walking out on me mid-sentence with the sheet in her hand.
The morning after though, the feeling of being ignored was distinctly replaced by feeling of unending doom & nausea that made me throw up all contents of my breakfast. I tried telling the nurses who came with meal time meds that something in the medicines is upsetting my stomach badly, but again I was ignored. In mean while the entire team of doctors & surgeons treating me tried telling me how not being able to stand on my non-operated leg, pain is all in my head & I would never be able walk if I do not stand on it now (those who have read my previous post might remember that the other leg too was fractured at 3 places but was not assumed to be so, because I was not crying badly in pain instead just collapsing because it refused to take my entire weight).
The "eat meal - take meds - throw-up everything" cycle continued for another couple of days till I felt really weak & my palms started turning yellow. I could connect throwing up & yellowing of palms to jaundice & I decided to request the surgeon, to test me for it. When he ignored my request I knew it was time to throw tantrum to be heard. I refused to take meds until the staff showed me the contents, too my horror, I was being dosed 600 mg paracetamol 4 times a day. My weight at that point of time was 51.5kg. https://www.drugs.com/paracetamol.html
Despite being overzealous in explaining I have huge pain tolerance to every single doctor I met, I was actually being poisoned by totally unnecessary painkiller. Acetaminophen aka Paracetamol is a painkiller with questionable efficacy compared against placebo .
So, it was not all in my head after all, the feeling of being ignored was real as the doctors were not just ignoring me, my opinions, my observations but my observable symptoms of paracetamol poisoning. While proving over-dosage was upsetting my stomach gave me the vindication, the recovery from hepatic toxicity was a very long journey.
Googling returned horrific stories on how gender bias affects healthcare
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180523-how-gender-bias-affects-your-healthcare
https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2019/07/06/medicine-has-an-implicit-bias-problem-what-needs-to-be-done
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/nov/20/healthcare-gender-bias-women-pain
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/sep/06/listen-to-women-uk-doctors-issued-with-first-guidance-on-endometriosis
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/women-and-pain-disparities-in-experience-and-treatment-2017100912562
https://www.prevention.com/health/a26100121/misdiagnosed-women
https://text.npr.org/s.php?sId=782466541
https://www.webmd.com/women/news/20180607/why-women-are-getting-misdiagnosed
During the night round of doctors, one resident (read Doctor still learning) came & asked where my close relative in attending was. I informed my bro has down downstairs for dinner. I tried striking a conversation trying to figure out what was being prescribed & why. Casually boasting how I have insane amount of pain tolerance which is why I would prefer no painkillers, but I could not shrug off the feeling of being ignored. She ( unfortunately ) interrupted me looking up from sheet she was scribbling on & demanded I ask my brother to sign the sheet once he is back. Once again I tried explaining that he is my kid brother & I can sign the treatment sheet myself since I am not being treated for insanity, which, resulted in her walking out on me mid-sentence with the sheet in her hand.
The morning after though, the feeling of being ignored was distinctly replaced by feeling of unending doom & nausea that made me throw up all contents of my breakfast. I tried telling the nurses who came with meal time meds that something in the medicines is upsetting my stomach badly, but again I was ignored. In mean while the entire team of doctors & surgeons treating me tried telling me how not being able to stand on my non-operated leg, pain is all in my head & I would never be able walk if I do not stand on it now (those who have read my previous post might remember that the other leg too was fractured at 3 places but was not assumed to be so, because I was not crying badly in pain instead just collapsing because it refused to take my entire weight).
The "eat meal - take meds - throw-up everything" cycle continued for another couple of days till I felt really weak & my palms started turning yellow. I could connect throwing up & yellowing of palms to jaundice & I decided to request the surgeon, to test me for it. When he ignored my request I knew it was time to throw tantrum to be heard. I refused to take meds until the staff showed me the contents, too my horror, I was being dosed 600 mg paracetamol 4 times a day. My weight at that point of time was 51.5kg. https://www.drugs.com/paracetamol.html
Despite being overzealous in explaining I have huge pain tolerance to every single doctor I met, I was actually being poisoned by totally unnecessary painkiller. Acetaminophen aka Paracetamol is a painkiller with questionable efficacy compared against placebo .
So, it was not all in my head after all, the feeling of being ignored was real as the doctors were not just ignoring me, my opinions, my observations but my observable symptoms of paracetamol poisoning. While proving over-dosage was upsetting my stomach gave me the vindication, the recovery from hepatic toxicity was a very long journey.
Googling returned horrific stories on how gender bias affects healthcare
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180523-how-gender-bias-affects-your-healthcare
https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2019/07/06/medicine-has-an-implicit-bias-problem-what-needs-to-be-done
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/nov/20/healthcare-gender-bias-women-pain
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/sep/06/listen-to-women-uk-doctors-issued-with-first-guidance-on-endometriosis
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/women-and-pain-disparities-in-experience-and-treatment-2017100912562
https://www.prevention.com/health/a26100121/misdiagnosed-women
https://text.npr.org/s.php?sId=782466541
https://www.webmd.com/women/news/20180607/why-women-are-getting-misdiagnosed
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